Posts in Spiritual

image description

My Black Mom

Despite my blond-hair, blue-eyes, and a dad who is a white supremacist, I have a black mom. Charlotte Lee adopted me while I was in my thirties because I asked her to. She called me daughter and it healed a part of my heart that ached for someone who loved me, to fill that “mother” void in my soul.
countinue reading
image description

The Curse or the Blessing

My faith instructs me to bless and not curse. Be assured, I do not want to bless people who have cursed me. But, cursing them is redundant. They carry their curse. They spew their curse. Their efforts to expel that curse spilled all over me. I do not need to add to it. I need to recover from it. That takes a blessing.
countinue reading
image description

Practicing My Faith

I don’t pretend that I can hide things from Him, and He doesn’t strike me with the plague. This works to my favor. What this practice looks like is that when I get angry at God, and I do, I let Him have it. It’s my worship.
countinue reading
image description

Incubate

In the twilight of the morning, I listened for the voice of God. That hovering area between sleep and wakefulness, my mind is engaged enough to hear; but, it’s too blurry to argue. I get no great orations, no poetry or tomes of wisdom. All God can do is squeeze in one word, one single word. My Love repeats it over and again to drill through the dullness of the morning fog. Today, that word was incubate. I heard it and sleepily thought, “Yeah, that fits. Cool.” So, my Lord said it again, incubate. In. Cu. Bate.
countinue reading
image description

The God I Know

I experience God differently. He is kinder than described to me. I am not getting spanked, although I do sin. I am not being harshly disciplined, even though I have broken rules. I am not always even being led by God so much as I am accompanied by Him. Jesus as my partner rather than my task master is a very different Jesus than I hear preached. At the same time I was told that He is my friend, I was also told that He is my master. I suppose He can
countinue reading
image description

My Year of Living Experimentally

I began as someone’s child and the decisions I made were filtered through very strict, demanding, and abusive parents. I married a few months prior to graduating college and my apsirations were filtered through a husband who was selfish and overbearing. When my children were born, they were my biggest priority, and even though the marriage ended, their needs did not. However, they are grown now and I am single. The decisions I make are based solely on my needs: I no longer have anyone to look after or to placate.
countinue reading
image description

Jesus Saves at Aldi

I go in Aldi to pick up a few items, less than a cart full. For those of you who are unfamiliar, Aldi is a one brand store, their brand. Price comparison is unnecessary. There's only one of what you want and the price is cheaper than anywhere else in town. Shopping simplified! The hardest part of shopping at Aldi is that there are no frills. Bring your own bags. Bag your own stuff. Put a quarter in the shopping cart slot and you can use it. When you are done, return the cart and get your quarter. Simple. I get my items while half the population of my town begins to form a line at the single register that was open. Eight carts were in front of me. Yes, I spent as much time in line as I did shopping. But, I'm committed at this point and it’s not going to cost me
countinue reading