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10 Spiritual Truths About Coffee

  1. “Thou shalt not kill” is an easier commandment to follow after that first cup.
  2. Coffee helps to align chakras.
  3. Starbucks is a demonstration of the law of attraction.
  4. Like a Gideon Bible, most hotel rooms have a coffee maker. This is a sign.
  5. Coffee is like an exorcist for my bowels.
  6. Magic and pixie dust are components of all coffee makers.
  7. Lack of coffee makes me question God.
  8. Hot, dark, scalding, coffee can be like hell, especially if you are drinking Sanka.
  9. When Zeus and the Greek gods talked about ambrosia, it was code for coffee.
  10. Elevated amounts of caffeine in my system make me see Jesus.