I have an adversary in this world, a sneaky, gossiping adversary. How do I know? I’ve observed behavior; I have intervened, asked questions, taken data. For whatever reason, and boy do I have some theories, I have a true adversary. I have a person who is poisoning a certain part of my life by gossip and it is removing opportunities.
And, I’m mad about it.
Then, the frenemy posts something on Facebook about wanting friends with integrity and my first thought is, “Yeah, because you don’t have any of your own.” I just cursed.
I see shared friends with my adversary and they scold me instead of being supportive as they had been in the past. Data point. I note that I am not being invited to social gatherings, but I am not left out of the conversation about their going. Former invitations are rescinded, but the conversation occurs in front of me.
That’s a mean girl move, a form of bullying that seeks to destroy a person by obviously excluding them. Why? It’s a power move. It’s a curse.
In my hurt state, I begin to think of how I would like karma to explode all over them. I want them to feel pain, the exact pain they have inflicted upon me. That’s a curse.
The truth is these people are in pain and are reacting accordingly. More pain will amplify their response. That’s a curse in full motion, a curse that will backfire on me.
My faith instructs me to bless and not curse. Be assured, I do not want to bless people who have cursed me. But, cursing them is redundant. They carry their curse. They spew their curse. Their efforts to expel that curse spilled all over me. I do not need to add to it. I need to recover from it.
That takes a blessing.
I begin with myself because I must. I have to turn the tables on this bleeding curse that has tainted my world.
I remember the goodness in my life. I touch base with a trusted and trustworthy friend, who helps me unravel the pain I felt in that moment when someone else’s curse reached my life. They encourage me to take the higher path. This is a blessing.
I remember my many friends through the years, the happiness, the shared experiences, the beauty, even in sorrow. This number of people is larger than the ones bringing hurt to my life, currently. This is a blessing.
I remember that one of my most important life values is to do no harm. I fail regularly, but in this case, I am aware and can choose this behavior, do no harm. This begins my inward blessing.
Before I bless others, I must begin with myself, or I will also spread the curse. This is the blessing I give myself:
I bless myself with good boundaries that are neither aggressive nor passive. My boundaries protect me from curses, but allow blessings to flow out. I will make my own opportunities that cannot be removed. I will entertain myself.
I bless my frenemies, the adversary, and any people they may invite into their circle, with the freedom to choose their behaviors. I bless them with understanding, kindness, and clear boundaries. I will not curse them because in their anger, they have already cursed themselves. My goal is to break free from the curse. I bless them with my words, with my heart, with my prayers. I do not wish ill to come upon them, because it already has. It is their suffering that leads them to cruelty. I will not participate in it. I will not squeeze myself into the martyr’s role. I will bless them with my absence if needed, but I will bless them.
I bless myself with acceptance and gentleness. I seek goodness for myself from my God. I keep my eyes on the higher path, and even if I stumble, I am blessed.
(Image by: Flickr User Hartwig HKD)